Friday, March 18, 2016

I Don't Want To Gain The Whole World and Lose My Soul

I've had this post written in draft mode for three years.  Three years...  I'm not completely there yet, but today I signed the paperwork to at least go from full time employment to 24 hour a week employment, a step in the right direction.

"Lose My Soul" by Toby Mac

Life is not about how much money I make, or what my job title is.  It's about my relationships with my God and my neighbors.  I may not have the exact same challenges as the Toby Mac, but we all face that problem of letting what we do consume who we are. 

Many will question my drastic life change to become a small farmer.  I will be giving up a lot of cash, security, normal work environment, and physically non-demanding work, and trade it for a dirty, heavy-lifting job that might not pay well every year, and may even eat my savings some years.  But I'll have my soul, I'll have my health, and maybe I'll have a larger family to share that with.

The alternative to making change is to stay where I am.  Climb that corporate ladder, live for my work, earn lots of cash and buy lots of toys I don't have much time to play with.  I'd spend most of the rest of my life in a chair, continue to suffer from fibromyalgia, and die at an early age of heart attack.  I'd raise no children, I'd leave no legacy.
Father God, I am clay in your hands
Help me to stay that way through all life’s demands
‘Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me
And every little thing I make up my mind to be
...
I don’t want to gain the whole world and lose my soul
...
Tell me what’s your title
America has no more stars now we call them idols
You sit idle
While we teach prosperity
The first thing to prosper should be inside of me